may 12th 2014 insert title here

So ti's the 12th of may and it's been roughly a goo few months since i've heard from her. I can say it has been hard. I thought I did something wrong, I thought I messed up but I don't know what to think. It has been hard thinking that she is doing better without me and I am just siting here alone and by myself.  I wonder what went  wrong? I just wish I could talk to her and  get an answer.  Oh well.....

I've been thinking a lot over the past few days and I just wanted to say i am sorry. sorry to the people i have hurt, sorry to the people I have made angry at me nd sorry to the people I have mistreated. I know I am not a perfect person and I do make mistakes and I can't learn from some of them I try my hardest but sometimes they just don't go through my head.  Sometimes I think to myself what do I do wrong? I don't figure it out until the end when i'm alone.

I know I have a lot going on not just in real life and with family and what not but I do have a lot going on internally. Inside myself I feel like I have let a lot of people down. I have let so many people down I carry the burden of trying to make it up to them any way possible. To me it feels like something I have to do but at the same time I know there is a lot I can't do to make things right. I don't know. I really don't  I just wish I could understand.

I want to talk about what I am dealing with, with a lot of people but it is hard to even start talking about it without getting upset or angry. I don't know were to go or what to do. I do need help I know I do. I feel alone and a outcast by everyone destined to be alone forever.

                                                               "This is my story"



Until next time friends.