February 19^th 2014

                So today I wonder to myself, what do I do with my life? Were do I go from here? Who am I as a person? What did I do to deserve all of this terrible problems I’ve been having to deal with for such a long time. I wonder what should I do with myself? Should I just run away? Should I just let it all go and be left alone for the rest of my life? I wonder to myself will I ever find the right person for me. The person that will always be there for me. The person that will be able to call me there own and I can call them my own. I wonder when all the problems that I have will go away? What do I do with everything that is going wrong? How do I handle all of this that’s just coming to me at once.Sometimes i just think to myself what am I saposed to do when this happens or this happened? Sometimes I just feel like I really don't belong. I feel like I just can't handle everything I do. I just feel terrible. I really do.

        I just think to myself. I sit and think for hours. sometimes just minutes or even seconds. sometimes a thought process of one simple idea or just what is going on could take days, weeks, even a month or two just to have my head wrap around what in the world just went on at that specific moment. what do I do exactly? I play video games specifically one in particular. some of you may heard of it its' World of Warcraft My Current Charicter Here . Other times I just read books. I never really get to talk to people about my problems or anything so it's terribly hard to really show how terrible I feel at all. I just cry alone at night feeling alone and just I don't know by myself feeling insecure about me. about who I am just as a person on the inside and outside. 

      Deep down I know I am a good person I know I really am, but it's just so hard to find others that are willing to see me for who I really am, they just see me as a person that they can use just to get whatever they want.... It is not the greatest feeling of them all but I try to not let it happen but somehow it does every single time. ..... At night I love to sit here and listen to quiet music such as Moon's Tears - Theophany

    Well I've been going on for quite a while so I think I will end this here. Probably tomorrow I will add a new post that maybe will be a bit more uplifting and more exciting. but fo now I must log into this World Of Warcraft ( WoW for short) and run some Flexible raids with people I don't even know. I do hope it goes well. 

This is me but to wonder. Yes I am albino.